Terry Suchma
08-14-2006, 09:21 PM
A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN RE-WORD
(aka "Groaners")
* A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
* A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
* Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
* I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
* Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
* A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
* Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
* Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
* Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
* A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
* Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
* A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
* Without geometry, life is pointless.
* When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
* Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
* A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
* Dijonvu - the same mustard as before.
* When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
* A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
* What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
* A backwards poet writes inverse.
* In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
* If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat
minor.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
* A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum
blown apart.
* You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
* He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* Every calendar's days are numbered.
* A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
* The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.
* Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
* Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
* When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
(aka "Groaners")
* A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
* A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
* Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
* I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
* Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
* A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
* Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
* Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
* Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
* A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
* Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
* A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
* Without geometry, life is pointless.
* When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
* Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
* A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
* Dijonvu - the same mustard as before.
* When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
* A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
* What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
* A backwards poet writes inverse.
* In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
* If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat
minor.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
* A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum
blown apart.
* You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
* He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* Every calendar's days are numbered.
* A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
* The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.
* Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
* Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
* When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.